Lost.

Life can be one big bundle of fuck ups. You think you’ll learn from the previous fuck up but in fact you just manage to do it ten times better the next time. Imagine you’re sitting on a pontoon, you see a sparkle out of the corner of your eye and there is something intriguing bobbing around a few metres away. Now, you know if you reach for it you’ll definitely fall in, however, just a small part of you wants to know what it is, needs to know what is is. And inevitably, you fall in. You’ve done it to yourself right? But somehow you still find someone to blame. I messed around with someones feelings, hey, I even fucked around with my own. So much the point where it’s all I can think about every day, I feel sad. What do I do? Listen to heartbreaking songs or tear jerking films that I know will put me straight back to square one but I somehow seek solace in it. It’s almost like I like being sad.

If you’ve got something good going on, grab it and never let it go.

I did it to myself, I got scared, no, I got terrified and in the process of that I messed it up for myself. Could I be happy right now? Most probably but will I ever know? No. Move on.

I’m trying so hard to let go but it’s going to take more time than I thought, so much more time.

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Little Slice Of Home

 

Plymouth can be a grey and miserable place. The concrete buildings and high rise block of flats doesn’t really fill me with warmth. Coming from Cornwall it’s such a dramatic change of scenery. I’m used to rolling fields of green and an endless sea of blue, a blue that is so enticing even when it’s mid winter and so so cold. Even dipping a finger in gives you hypothermia.

From our roof terrace I can see Cornwall, it’s so close yet so very far. Every morning on my walk to uni I can see the fields and tree’s and it makes me smile inside.

Even though I can pop home whenever I want theres something magical about crossing the bridge and feeling content.

Last weekend I went on a 12 mile walk around the coast, and although it definitely wasn’t the Cornish coastline it was pretty nostalgic to say the least. Even the smallest things can make your week that little bit better, and for me that was seeing the twinkle of the sun reflecting on the sea.

Nic xoxo

University

University can be a daunting experience, with many highs also come many lows, often more lows than highs unfortunately! I am currently in the rut of “do I really want to go back to uni?” “Shall I just quit, save up my money and go travelling?” Even though it all sounds incredibly tempting I realise that running away from my problems isn’t going to solve them no matter how fast you run. I’m studying English with Publishing, I love English, it’s always been my favourite subject and if I quit studying it I won’t have a passion anymore. Life without passion is incredibly shit!

I recently saw an old college friend, I told her a big secret that I’ve been keeping for years and it came out so easily and I immediately felt so happy. The thing I’d been bottling up for many years was finally free. Now this doesn’t really have anything to do with uni, but it’s all about staying focused and being true to who you are. From recent events I know that life is incredibly short and why life it not being true to yourself?

Right now I have a great job, that I don’t wake up and think “oh fuck I’ve got to go to work today” which in my mind is a great success! I have 2 amazing friends that I wouldn’t be able to function without. Although one of them lives in London and I hardly ever see her I always know she’s only a phone call away.

My fresh start is right around the corner, and I’m planning on making every last bit of it count.

Please don’t live your life sheltered, those wanderlust feelings you have, act on them.

Nic xxx

Impulsive Decisions

I don’t know if I’m the only person that does this but when I get an idea pop into my head I ┬áHAVE to act on it asap, I get all fidgety and anxious if I leave it hanging. This ‘idea’ can be anything from wanting a certain type or food, or going out and buying something.

I was on FaceTime to my friend who is currently in Rhodes, Greece. I’ve been itching to get away, I haven’t been on holiday since December so it’s been a while! I was telling her all of this and saying how we should definitely go away this summer, she said lets do it, fuckkkkk everything and we should just go! I looked at some websites for hotels and flights to Berlin, I absolutely love Germany, I’ve been three times and always loved the culture and the people. So last night I booked our flights! We’re staying in Air B&B, which is something that I’ve never done but it will be cool to stay with people who live in the heart of Berlin! Adds something special to the trip. We’re going for three days and I’ve already done so much planning!

If anyone has been to Berlin or has any suggestions of cool quirky things to do please let me know!

Making plans impulsively can definitely boost your mood!

Nic xxx

New Beginnings

So somehow you’ve ended up clicking on this blog page or accidentally stumbled across it and you’re suddenly frantically trying to find the cross button and exit swiftly, if that’s the case then I’m not going to beg you to stay, but a few views here and then would be much appreciated! We’ve all got to start somewhere right?!

I’m Nic, hi! This is making me cringe but I’m powering through. I’m 20 and I’ve recently just finished my first very unsuccessful year of university. During my first 8 months of “studying” I have never experienced so many emotions, it really has been a roller coaster. From suffering with pretty bad anxiety and depression which led to an outbreak of severe acne which led to even more depression, however I have met the best people, had more cry laughing moments than I can count and many drunken nights that have led to the best conversations and memories! Uni is hard people, it’s not all fun drunk times, it will test you as a person and you might not like the person that emerges in some situations but keep going, it will get better.

Unfortunately I totally picked the wrong course, this is mainly because I got back from America and thought to myself “Nic, what the fuck do I do now?” So I frantically made a shoddy UCAS application and sent it off, not expecting a reply back I did, and thats how I ended up at Plymouth University! However now I have changed courses, to English with Publishing, hence starting this blog that hopefully will go somewhere or maybe not, but we’ll see!

The dream? Have a successful travel/lifestyle blog and to be able to travel and work.

There’s nothing greater than travelling the world in my eyes.

Thanks for sticking with this post.

Nic xxx